Today’s meditation is intended for you to fully immerse yourself in the tranquility of Yonge-Dundas Square.
Our mindfulness classes have been carefully curated to help you achieve the highest possible frequency of
your spiritual resonance.
Find a comfortable pothole to sit in. Gently close your eyes, and breathe deeply into the wet, muddy pothole
aura. Stay rooted in the humility underneath.
Now, let’s slowly rise up and climb out of the pothole.
We’ll start our practice by taking a deep breath and inhaling the rotten egg fragrance wafting upwards from
nearby open sewers. Exhale; on your next breath, embrace the scent of sweat and weed lingering on the
street. Position yourself to stand behind a Tokyo Smoke customer for our daily dose of second-hand cigarette
smoke. As the fumes fill your nostrils, hold your breath right here and resist the urge to cough.
Our practice is all about mental strength. Once you put your mind to it, your smoke-filled airway will learn
to stop itself from suffocation. If you feel your throat start to close up, envision a world where your
throat and body do not react violently to external life stressors.
As we begin our meditation walk, remember to keep your helmet secured on your head for protection against
pigeons’ excrement and other falling debris. Please also keep in mind that we’re not feeding any pigeons
along the way, as downtown birds have extremely strict diets consisting of plastic bottle caps and AA
batteries fed exclusively to them by the City of Toronto.
Now bring yourself back to the peaceful state of mind. Find your pocket of peace underneath this towering
crane. As the crane slightly wavers in the cool winds, sway with it to harmonize with your surroundings.
Remember that throughout our meditation, if your mind wanders elsewhere, whether it be a beach, the park or
the yoga studio, bring it right back to Yonge-Dundas Square.
The law of attraction states that spiritual beings draw on a diverse set of experiences close to them. As
you channel your inner strengths, you may notice that we as a spiritual group are attracting things to our
tour. This includes both good and bad energies, but by the end of this meditation, you will be equipped with
the mental strength to repel the negativity away.
Here begins the law of the attraction. Embrace the uncomfortable sensation knowing that other individuals
are approaching with negativity. Whatever their query, whether they’re thrusting a pamphlet about climate
change in your hands or it's just the Believe Guy, remain in your peaceful mindset. Simply acknowledge these
voices; acknowledge that you heard them and allow the voices to pass right through your brain.
We’re going to take three deep breaths. Breathe in, hold for five seconds; and as you exhale, feel the
negativity exiting with your breath.
When you open your eyes, you may still feel distracted from your practice, and that’s OK. Co-exist with
distractions and remind yourself of the power of your mental strength.
To conclude our meditation, we’re going to practice gratitude. What are you grateful for in your life? As
your group leader, I am thankful for the expensive fees you pay for this class. I’m thankful for the
diversity of our city, accessibility of support and inclusivity of Torontonians.
As you move on with your day, I encourage you to leave a review on our exclusive Yelp page for, as we have
found our exclusive client base is more likely to peruse Yelp than Google Reviews. You can also spread the
word by telling a friend about our practice, which will give both the new member and yourself a generous
0.10 per cent discount on your next meditation.
Last deep breath in and out...and we’re finished. Thank you for joining me this morning; please leave your
excrement-infused helmet in the bucket behind you for the next group of spiritual learners.
