Ever wondered what animal you could fight and win? Well, you’re in the wrong place. Take this quiz to
out what animal would unquestionably best you in hand-to-hand, hand-to-fin or hand-to-beak combat.
Which type of Avatar: The Last Airbender ‘bender’ would you be?
A popular TV show that you’d like to wipe off the face of the Earth?
- Firebender, duh, ‘cause flames and lightning.
- Airbender, I’m bald and/or have a pet lemur.
- Earthbender, I dream of having an army of plant children.
- Waterbender, I’m terrified of the ocean but my favourite Disney princess is Ariel.
Quick! The best bubblegum flavour:
- Riverdale, how is there just ONE river but MULTIPLE murderers?
- The Office, it only has, like, five good seasons.
- Friends, a group of six white friends? Living in Manhattan? Hard pass.
- Spongebob Squarepants, I only watched it for the background fish people.
What’s your favourite fall activity?
- Eww bubblegum, I use mints instead.
- Watermelon, I miss summer :(
- Mint, plain and simple.
- The weird soap-flavoured gums from the Dollar Store that cost $1.30.
What’s your ideal biome for an impulsive camping trip?
- Carving a pumpkin, but not for jack-o-lanterns. I just like carving pumpkins—37 and counting already
- Standing outside my home and breathing in and out to see the air smoke from my breath. A great
- Crunching on leaves, with my feet or in my mouth—depends on my stress level.
- Blowing on a steaming mug with no liquid inside, just a hot mug.
Does climate change exist?
- Desert, can’t fly all the way to Dubai so this is a close second.
- Tropical rainforest, my second favourite place next to the Rainforest Cafe.
- Savanna, it’s my best friend's name!
- Freshwater, I’m watching my salt intake.
Do you recycle?
- Yes [honest]
- No >3
- Yeah [no]
- Yes [derogatory]
Finish the lyrics: “You are….”
- Yes, every week.
- Only during the full moon.
- Hahaha, no.
- For you, anything. But no.
Trapped in the wild for 24 hours, the first thing you do is:
- I’m good, thanks.
- “My Sunshine”
- “my fi-re... the one…. De-sire”
- “my candy~ girrrlll~”
How do you take your iced coffee?
- Assert dominance amongst the other animals by striking a T-pose.
- Build a fire, fail, cry.
- Take off my clothes and blend with the environment.
- Cry, fail, build a fire.
Mostly As: Black Mamba
- I only drink hot black coffee.
- Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato.
- With my hands?!?
- Extra ice, extra cream, half the coffee.
The mamba was fine chilling on its own until it came face to face with you. Your natural presence just
causes distress, and now it works day in and day out to find your whereabouts. Post less on Snapchat;
closer than ever to finding you using the Snap Map.
Mostly Bs: The Somali Ostrich
It’s all fun and games until you decide that mocking their inability to fly was funny. Next time
little more empathetic cause guess who can’t fly away either: you.
Mostly Cs: Capybara
They’re so cute and yet they can’t stand you. Congratulations on being the first person
capybaras have sought a rivalry with. There can only be one largest rodent standing.
Mostly Ds: Narwhal
If you ever feel the urge to go diving into the ocean, RESIST IT. Unless you
secret army of orcas, you shouldn’t be anywhere near the water, because the
coming and They. Are. Armed.